Oh yeah, the forgotten "holiday" is coming up.

Yes boys and girls I’m back! What holiday could I be referring to you may ask? FUCKING FATHER’S DAY! Why a rant about it? Here is why…..no one gives Father’s Day a second damn thought, that’s why. Father’s Day is the redheaded window licker of Holidays. Every damn “holiday” that exists, with the exception of Father’s Day, is female centered and therefore Father’s Day is unceremoniously kicked under the rug. Even fucking Christmas is not about the man. “Every kiss begins with Kay”. translation: If you don’t go to the jewelry store and drop a grand, you are a douche. What similar pressure are the women folk enduring? A new Braun electric razor or a Craftsman wrench……. ohhhh, be still my heart! Valentine’s day? You had better order Sherrie’s Berries, Pro Flowers, Pajamagram, Vermont Teddy Bear, go to the jewelry store, have a fucking Hallmark card and take her to a nice dinner or your blow job is out the fucking window (and yes ladies, that is all we fucking want!). And Mother’s Day. Just combine Christmas and Valentine’s day and forget the blow job! On top of that, we are asshats if we forget ANY of the Mothers we know (Sisters, Mothers, Wife, any fucking vagina we know that has squeezed out a tricycle motor!). Now on to the forgotten event…..Father’s Day. I am lucky in this aspect because my Queen is great to me, as is my Daughter but I am writing this rant for the rest of us blessed to piss while standing. What does Father’s day mean for most? Hey Dad, here are your grill tongs/grill/wrench/tool box/Old Spice/etc. Now grill us a steak/work around the house with your new drill/fix my car/while trying the whole time trying to think of what cocksucker you are going to regift the fucking Old Spice to. Oh, ladies, WE DO NOT CONSIDER TAKING THE KIDS TO THE FUCKING ZOO FUN AT ALL, ESPECIALLY ON FATHER’S FUCKING DAY!!!!!! Any MAN at the zoo on Father’s Day is a broken, dickless, hollow eyed zombie praying for death. I would rather stick my dick in a meat grinder than go to the fucking zoo. “Yep, there is a zebra….same fucking zebra I saw during the middle school field trip. Yep, there is an elephant, same fucking elephant I saw during the same trip.” But now I have one kid on my shoulders because walking is to much for him and another running around like a nutless monkey….with all the other nutless fucking monkeys. The only redeeming quality of the zoo is some men can man up and throw themselves into the tiger cage! Now thats fucking Father’s Day!!! And why the zoo ladies? Is it the free admission for Dads on Father’s Day? You cheep fucks, we can’t get away with that shit. That is just true testament to how little Father’s day means to you. I guess buying the house, paying the bills, protecting you, doing the chores, lifting the heavy shit, killing the bugs, changing the oil, grilling the steaks, taking you to dinner (while you should have been cooking) isn’t enough to be properly rewarded. So since I AM an idea guy I have proposed a Father’s Day guide: Breakfast. Blowjob. No bitching. No bullshit. Beer. Pretty fucking simple isn’t it????!!!
I am the Burgernazi and I aprove this message. Once again, if you like the rant come in and tell me.

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