There is an old saying that everyone knows, “If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day. If you TEACH a man to fish……” Then he needs to BUY a fishing licence, get permission and a licence from the Parks Dept. to use Public land to even go fishing. Now the animal rights protesters show up to show their “outrage” against the way the man is going to abuse the worm, because after all, “Worm lives matter!” Now the man catches two fish and the protesters come back with signs declaring the man is a “Murderer” and a “Monster” and “Fish are people too!” The Man goes to start a fire to cook the fish but the Fire Marshal shows up and issues a fine for not having a burn permit. The Man guts and scales the fish in order to still cook it but the EPA shows up and and issues another fine for dumping the guts and scales on the river bank. While preparing his dinner, the animal rights people show back up with anther member of the Park’s Dept, declaring that the fish was the “endangered” three dick fish that is only native to the Arkansas River due to the pollution and issues another fine! While almost done cooking the fish, the man is visited by the Health Department and issued another fine for cooking without a business permit and not having a food handlers card. While eating his fish, the IRS shows up! They determine that since the man has TWO fish then he obviously meant to “sell” the other one and audit the man for not filing taxable income on the second fish. Once done eating his fish, the man prepares to go home and cleans up his cooking site and dumps his cooking oil, leading to the EPA to declare this a “toxic waste site” and force the man to pay for clean up by the hazmat crew deployed, with another fine! The man, once home, begins to work on his taxes but he isn’t great at math and gets called in for a physical audit by the IRS because he misplaced a decimal point. Once there, the IRS claims “fraud” as the man wrote off the fines from fishing. “Because you don’t have a business, you cannot claim these as a business expense”, the IRS says. The man counters with “I was trying to tell you I didn’t have a business but you fuckers told me I did and fined me anyway!” Finding the man a smart ass, the IRS sends him to prison, where he is given a fish a day (among other things!).
For those of you keeping score at home, here is the scorecard.
- Licences: (Four) Two purchased, two more were needed.
- Fines: Five.
Now is there anyone out there still under the fucking illusion that you are free? Thought not.
P.S. The moral of the story, FUCK FISH!!!!!
I am the Burgernazi and I approve this message.