I don't get it.

It’s Monday, January First and everything is closed. WHY?! OK, Government is off but they are lazy fucks out of the box. Banks as well as they use every Government holiday as an excuse. Why is “New Years Day” even considered a “Holiday” anyway? Are you fuckers either such bad or good drinkers that you need an extra day to recover? Is the perplexing task of changing a calendar require 24 fucking hours? Is working with a hangover above your pay grade? If so, I wouldn’t hire you, means you can’t multitask and are mentally weak (That’s PC for retard). Liquor stores closed? Anyone ever heard of “Hair of the Dog” or deadbeat friends and relatives sucking your WHOLE stockpile into THEIR COCK-HOLES?! Thanks Government. To me, it’s just fucking Monday and I want to get shit done to be ready for Tuesday, that’s it. Order some dead cow to prepare for tomorrow? Nope, closed. Go to fetch habanero cheese? Nope, closed. Want to go to Redwings to get new boots as mine are killing me? Nope, closed. Want to order more LP for the cold streak? Nope, closed. Go to Sam’s and restock my soda for the upcoming week? Nope, closed. Once again……WHY?!! I made potato soup for this week (For YOUR fucking enjoyment and dining pleasure) on Sunday, while watching the Steeler’s game. ON MY FUCKING DAY OFF! Now I’m down here cleaning and stocking. ON MY FUCKING DAY OFF! I know that my line of work leads to having an asshole as a boss but for fuck’s sake I go back to my original question: WHY IN THE FUCK IS 1-1 EVEN A COCKSUCKING HOLIDAY???! Need time to tell your fat ass all of the resolutions that you have NO hope or resolve to follow thru with? Lose weight? Didn’t work last year. Drink less? You weren’t fucking thinking about that last night. Be nicer to your fellow man? Nope, if you are an adult and your a prick, a drunken promise made last night isn’t going to change a damn thing there Dr. Phil. Basically, once I set my schedule I don’t like needless bullshit fucking it up and I turn into a whiny cunt. Thankfully I have this blog and you Minions seem to enjoy when I put whiny cunt into text! Now on to some serious shit.

  1. If you are or see a Lance Armstrong want to be riding on the public street that the tax money from my 13 MPG getting truck pays for when there is a bicycle path,that my property taxes paid for, within six feet of the roadway, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO RUN YOU THE FUCK OVER without any criminal or civil liabilities!
  2. If you are above the age of twelve and have a “fidget spinner”, anyone and EVERYONE should be able to beat your ass with no repercussions.
  3. If you have a “Man Bun” and are not in a Kimono with a Samurai sword, public execution is required. Once again, with the only repercussion being the key to the city.

P.S. Shirts are back, for now! And I made bacon-potato soup for this week.
I am the Burgernazi and I approve this message.

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