Monthly Archives: January 2015

The "Great" State of Texas

Hello monkeys, DADDY"S BACK! For some of you in the know, I took a slight vacation (well, if driving 2200 miles over three days is a vacation) to Texas to see Momma Nazi over Christmas. I will now go over the reasons why Texas SHOULD succeed. Myth number 1: "Everything is bigger and better in Texas"! Fact: Texas is simply the shitty northern suburb of a second world country ...........BUT WORSE!!!! For the love of God I love Mexican food but putting rice and beans in EVERY FUCKING THING IS UNNECESSARY!!!! "Would you like to try our new breakfast burrito? It's egg, chorisso, rice and beans!" Are you fucking kidding me? Eggs, bacon, sausage, biscuits and gravy are fucking breakfast, not RICE AND FUCKING BEANS! And there is about......let me think about it........150 YARDS of highway without an orange barrel or cone. The fucking State tree...
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The official platform for the 2016 write in President, The Burgernazi!

As the midterms are over I throw my hat in the ring for the 2016 Presidential election. The following will be the outline of my platform and policy statement. As usual, this is NSFW and should make a few asshats a little butthurt. DOMESTIC POLICIES: Let's start with the welfare state by implementing some common sense reforms; drug testing. Work or job training requirement. Mandatory sterilization after two tricycle motors are downloaded. Separate stores for food stamps. Food stamp are only good for canned goods, rice, beans and powdered milk. No soda, meat, candy bars or frozen food. Sound a little harsh, you say? Well if you want a more diverse menu get a FUCKING JOB! The system is to help you survive not thrive on the tax payer's dime. Tax's: Fair Tax. Do your research but trust me, it's a real answer. Politically "Correct" language: All citizens...
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