Monthly Archives: May 2015

Graduation season!

This didn't seem to bother me as much until I finally joined social media but I would like to be the first to say, in my best Chris Farley voice, YOU HAVEN'T DONE JACK SHIT!!!! Congratulations are in order for you finally leaving the incredibly dumbed down government school, other than that you have accomplished nothing! Now pack your luggage (if you have good parents, that should have been your graduation gift!), get a job and get the fuck out! Pack up you participation trophies from soccer and enter the real world, where your artificially high self esteem is no longer nourished, results matter and the score is kept! Now if it seems I am being particularly harsh, I am. Why? Because you are currently surrounded by sycophants (look it up, "graduate") that are tickling your balls over your "accomplishment". But I'm not all bad,...
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A small post today.

If you regularly read my blogs, odds are that you are a meat loving, fat bastard that sweats gravy and  runs vegetarians over any chance you get, and I thank you for that! In an effort to get you ready for beach season, I am going to add cheese fries on a trial basis, because nothing tops off a 1200 calorie meal with a super mug and free entertainment like another few grams of cheesy saturated fat!  So your response to this offering will determine if it stays or goes, so spread the word my minions! Well, unless your one of these carb counting, lactose intolerant pusses. In that case, take the hint God is giving you and DIE! Fuck me, milk kicks your ass?! That's just bad genes Son, give up and go to the light before you breed. The gene pool has become...
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Menaces to society and a plan of action!

After a very good Nazi birthday weekend I am recharged and ready to fight the good fight! Now the first question you may ask, what is this menace Mr. Burgernazi? Rapists? Robbers? Terrorists? Small children? Women drivers? No my friends, it's even worse than that: Local advertisers! These horrendous, life sucking ticks to our very livelihood need to be addressed, even if mob rule needs to be part of the plan. Here are some of the biggest perps that I have observed (feel free to add your nominees in the comment section on Facebook if you have a personal favorite that I have missed.) :  First, a relatively new entry to the group; the blond chick in the Rusty Eck Ford commercials!   There is just something grating about her voice that makes me want to clean my ears with an ice pick and hammer....
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