Menaces to society and a plan of action!

After a very good Nazi birthday weekend I am recharged and ready to fight the good fight! Now the first question you may ask, what is this menace Mr. Burgernazi? Rapists? Robbers? Terrorists? Small children? Women drivers? No my friends, it’s even worse than that: Local advertisers! These horrendous, life sucking ticks to our very livelihood need to be addressed, even if mob rule needs to be part of the plan. Here are some of the biggest perps that I have observed (feel free to add your nominees in the comment section on Facebook if you have a personal favorite that I have missed.) :  First, a relatively new entry to the group; the blond chick in the Rusty Eck Ford commercials!   There is just something grating about her voice that makes me want to clean my ears with an ice pick and hammer. Punishment: Shotgun funneling of one gallon of 400 degree cooking oil. What the fuck, is it going to make her voice MORE tedious? Justice is served. Secondly, a certain fugly woman with a speech impediment that seems to purchase every bit of advertising time available on both the TV and radio mediums for the family business. Punishment: Dowsed in menstrual blood and locked in a small room with a rabid wolverine high on crystal meth! Once again, justice is served. Last and by NO MEANS least, the stupid fucking, goofy looking, chromosome missing, candidate for organ donation………..THE “SUPER CAR GUY” COCKSUCKER HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am trying to come up with the appropriate punishment for this cum dumpster and it’s a hard thing to do. At first I was sold on just nailing his balls to a stump and letting a raffle winner kick him off. To quick. Vivisection on pay per view (look it up). Although it would show off my knife skills, once again it’s to quick. So the country boy in me kicked in: Banding! For those of you not familiar, imagine the following: A rubber band the circumference on your pinky but about the size of a Cheerio.  Once placed on a special tool, you stretch it to about three inches in diameter and apply it to the base of the scrotum and release, cutting off blood flow. After two to three days the balls simply fall off! Now I settled on this idea as we can incorporate it into a betting game: Paint squares on their parking lot and number them. Which square the balls land inside of, we have a winner! Family fun I tell you and justice, once again, is served!!!!
I am the Burgernazi and I approve this message.

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