Graduation season!

This didn’t seem to bother me as much until I finally joined social media but I would like to be the first to say, in my best Chris Farley voice, YOU HAVEN’T DONE JACK SHIT!!!! Congratulations are in order for you finally leaving the incredibly dumbed down government school, other than that you have accomplished nothing! Now pack your luggage (if you have good parents, that should have been your graduation gift!), get a job and get the fuck out! Pack up you participation trophies from soccer and enter the real world, where your artificially high self esteem is no longer nourished, results matter and the score is kept! Now if it seems I am being particularly harsh, I am. Why? Because you are currently surrounded by sycophants (look it up, “graduate”) that are tickling your balls over your “accomplishment”. But I’m not all bad, I do offer advice.

  1. Do not get someone or become pregnant. ¬†This is a first class ticket to poverty. It takes $300,000 to raise a tricycle motor from birth to 18 assuming no college or medical liabilities. Let that sink in…..
  2. Get a job, any job, and keep it until you have the skill set to advance to another.
  3. Get an education/job skill. And by education I do not mean “Women’s studies”, “Black history” or “Education”. And by job skill, I do not mean taking a “selfie” while choking balls deep on your pimply, Mountain Dew drinking boyfriend. Welding, machinist and paralegal all come to mind.
  4. Understand society does NOT owe you a fucking thing. Overcoming your entitlement mentality will take you far.
  5. You will make minimum wage to start for a reason. You do not know shit…yet.
  6. If you can’t “live” on minimum wage, get a second job. And 40 hours a week is a minimum if you are striving to succeed.

I bet you were not informed about any of this in school, huh?
I am the Burgernazi and I approve this message.
P.S. Hey parents. This rant would not have even come about if you were not trying to cram the event up my social media ass! It’s a family event, FUCKING KEEP IT THAT WAY!!

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