Monthly Archives: February 2016

The fine art.

Culinary skills? Not in this post. The skill I wish to expound upon is the skill set involved in being a smart ass, as it is not as easy as some people think it is. First, it takes a quick wit as back and forth banter will occur and thinking on the fly is essential. Secondly, intelligence is the gas in the tank. If multitasking is beyond you, leave it to the professionals.  Last but not least, overall knowledge, because if your are ignorant of the topic, you will look like a crayon eating twat waffle. (It's rather tragic to watch, by the way.) Now that the ingredient list is out there we can move to the different species of smart ass: Carpet bomber and Sniper.
  • Carpet bomber: This is the branch of smart ass that lays waste to the entire country side in a relentless barrage....
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For the love of God, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!

For my peeps who have been here before, you know the following: It's small, usually busy and we do not have the TIME for you to formulate your fucking order after you have called in! Here are some basics you should have ready BEFORE you dial the phone.
  1. How many fucking tards are you ordering for? Trying to figure this out on the fly is not only above a lot of "you people's" pay grade but slows down the process. Few things are more aggravating than taking an order that should take 20 seconds but I hear the following "Hey Jim Bob, I got's me Bomber on the phone so what do you want? A booger? Ok, I need two boogers." (ME) "What the fuck is a booger?! Do you need a hamburger or a cheese burger?" (You) " UUHHHHH, two boogers with cheese." (Me) "...
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