About: burgernazi

Recent Posts by burgernazi

The fine art.

Culinary skills? Not in this post. The skill I wish to expound upon is the skill set involved in being a smart ass, as it is not as easy as some people think it is. First, it takes a quick wit as back and forth banter will occur and thinking on the fly is essential. Secondly, intelligence is the gas in the tank. If multitasking is beyond you, leave it to the professionals.  Last but not least, overall knowledge, because if your are ignorant of the topic, you will look like a crayon eating twat waffle. (It's rather tragic to watch, by the way.) Now that the ingredient list is out there we can move to the different species of smart ass: Carpet bomber and Sniper.
  • Carpet bomber: This is the branch of smart ass that lays waste to the entire country side in a relentless barrage....
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For the love of God, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!

For my peeps who have been here before, you know the following: It's small, usually busy and we do not have the TIME for you to formulate your fucking order after you have called in! Here are some basics you should have ready BEFORE you dial the phone.
  1. How many fucking tards are you ordering for? Trying to figure this out on the fly is not only above a lot of "you people's" pay grade but slows down the process. Few things are more aggravating than taking an order that should take 20 seconds but I hear the following "Hey Jim Bob, I got's me Bomber on the phone so what do you want? A booger? Ok, I need two boogers." (ME) "What the fuck is a booger?! Do you need a hamburger or a cheese burger?" (You) " UUHHHHH, two boogers with cheese." (Me) "...
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New item!!!!

I should never sell drugs as I would fail miserably. I have an item here in the shop that I introduce to all of you, jalapeno salt.  I get you fucking hooked like a rat on crack and keep giving it to you on my dime, pretty damn stupid. My Father discovered it over 20 years ago and I have maintained the tradition. Well, since we can't find it locally, I buy 35 lbs. a year for your needs direct from the manufacturer to refill my containers. In a lucid moment (Mrs. Nazi stopped beating me for a couple of days and I could think clearly!) it dawned on me that since I have dealer status with this company, I CAN ACTUALLY SELL YOU CONTAINERS OF JALAPENO SALT! So effective immediately, I have jap. salt for sale in the seven ounce containers for $6!  Now...
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The Bomber State of the Union for 2016

2015 was interesting and filled with improvements to the Bomber, including a re-surfaced bar and a new prep table, new beer selection, reorganized back room with a TV and a resurfaced floor. In addition, we won seven new awards (six for the burgers and a national one for the fries!) which has led to an influx of newbie's to the Bomber Nation, boy what a surprise for them! Breaking in virgins is usually rough for them as my "give a shit gland"died many years ago.  I have reprinted some shirts (the "things to do in Oaklawn" style) and have a few ideas for 2016, stay tuned. Now the bad news, I'm still in Oaklawn and the damn roof still leaks, shit. I haven't posted in a while as nothing has really pissed me off.........until now! HOW IN THE FUCK DO YOU WINDOW LICKING, SISTER FUCKING TARDS...
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The Burgernazi's guide to deciphering P.C. / liberal terms.

With the huge decline in the United States is currently going thru, you can count on the BN to lead you through this mess. Enclosed is a guide to muddle through the current landscape.
  • Liberal: Closet Socialist who is VERY "compassionate" with YOUR MONEY.
  • Progressive: New term for liberal, since people have caught on to the term, that are a little more open about their Socialism. Want to change the greatest nation the world has ever known yet would not live in Cuba, China or any other country they admire even if you paid the air fare. Rather dangerous form of liberal.
  • Millennial: A full generation of coddled, pussified, asshats with minimal work ethic living in their parent's basement surrounded by "participation trophy's". If you are offended by this, put down the Mountain Dew and get a fucking job.
  • Trans gender: First, it's trans sexual....proper English people. Secondly, mentally...
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